Portobello Panto 2012.

A massage from producer Peter Jack:

Hear ye. Hear ye. Deep down on the Portobello Road, it's that time of year again. Oh no it isn't? OH YES IT IS!

This year, the Company has turned it's attention to local hero Charles Dickens* and the terrible tale of OLIVER TWISTED. We have rounded up the usual suspects and a few unsuspecting newbies to bring to the Tabernacle stage the story of food, juvenile crime and doomed romance.

It's time to get your tickets because they are on sale now and moving briskly. The show runs from Tuesday 18th December till Saturday 22nd December. The fancy dress matinee is on Saturday afternoon. As usual, tickets are available from Rough Trade or online at www.tabernacleW11.com

Thank you for support of The Portobello Panto over the last few years. We are delighted to be able to announce that last year, we raised £5361.10 for www.shepherdsbushfamiliesproject.org in addition to setting up the website. Go and have a look to see how your money is being used.

PANTO REVIEW HERE

Tate Modern Christmas gift ideas 2012.

I have had a sneaky peep at the following... Nothing new then!


Tate Modern Christmas gifts 2012


Banksy grafitti kit complete with stencls, spraycans, balaclava and false balls.

Gilbert and George Rococo shit embellisher. Containing resin and gold leaf for the perfect ormolu stool. (Shit not provided but may be bought separately from the Tate gift shop in handy 30g tins. Price: £97,250.00 courtesey of  Piero Manzoni)

Tracy Emin camping condoms. Signed by the artist for authentic artistic fucking intent.

The 'LOOK AT ME' Nicholas Serota mirror... Just repeat after me; If I say it is art it is ART! (This gift works well with Last years 'Emperors new clothing' Curators costume.)

Chapman brother faced false penis noses (set of two). Now you and your brother can look like a pair of dickheads.

The 'Munch Scream' cot and buggy mobile. Ideal for disturbing the very young artist.

Andy Warhol bald patch. Impress your friends with your impersonation of Andy without a wig!

Warhol without wig: http://jannieupjur.blogspot.co.uk/2010/10/club-21-remaking-scene.html

The 'Jackson Pollock' Muse beater. An authentic paint spattered singlet ideal for the 'Abstract Depressionist*' during alcoholic rages. Works equally well on long suffering wives/boyfriends.

The Damian Hirst animal mutilation starter set has been withdrawn due to legal issues... It was rubbish and overpriced anyway! 



*Abstract Depressionism: Copyright. Jan Nieupjur 2009. http://jannieupjur.blogspot.co.uk/2008/11/barking-on-thin-ice-in-search-of.html